It’s Tough to be Little

I know I’m a little behind on my column for this month, but better late than never…right? This month I’m going to talk about how rough my mom and Aunt Sue claim to have had it. So here we go:

Both my mom and Aunt Sue recounted to me of how they were unceremoniously kicked out of the house everyday and forced to play outside. They say that Edith and Elsie would lock the screen door so that they couldn’t get back inside…not even to go to the bathroom!

Aunt Sue said she used to share a bed with Aunt Elsie. She says that if she did something wrong during the day, that night Aunt Elsie would get her back for it with her long long nails.

Aunt Sue told me about one time that someone (who shall remain nameless; I want to see if you can guess who it is) was trying to rake the leaves while she was playing. They told her to move and when she didn’t do it fast enough they hit in the back of the head with the hoe! She says that there was so much blood! Can anyone guess who hit Aunt Sue in the back of the head with a hoe?

My mom also reminisced about how strict Uncle Jerry used to be with them. She says that he was always trying to change stuff about them. She likes to tell me about how he tried to teach her how to swallow properly. Supposedly she used to swallow really loudly and when it finally got fed up with it, he decided to attempt to teach her how to do it right. Mom says she remembers him showing her how to swallow over and over again. So now I’d like to pose a question for you Uncle Jerry, do feel like you successfully taught my mom how to swallow or did you just give up on her and she eventually grew out of the habit?

That’s it for this month folks. And to Aunt Martha, you might know who it was that hit Aunt Sue with the hoe. So don’t say anything if you do, give others the chance to guess.

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